Work vs Competition

The struggle is too real 😩 I currently have a job that I like which is great because I also like money a lot. Like A lot a lot.

However, this Sunday there’s a competition in Gothenburg that I really want to compete at but my boss scheduled five hours for me that day. So my only hope is to find someone fast to exchange days that we work so I can still compete, or else I will have to skip this competition…

I’m getting a little desperate with my search (I think I also annoyed my boss a little, I’m sorry, sometimes my brain stops working😅😂) but since it’s so close to Sunday already: I’m slowly accepting that I can’t do everything the way that I want to in life. 

I know that I want and need to compete for myself and my goals but I also know that in order to reach my goals I need to be able to keep my job and do well at it. It just sucks a little sometimes when the two things you want to do clashes. I actually like and want to work a lot, just not on that particular day😂 but anyways:

I need to go and shower and get ready for school now, I’ll keep you guys updated on if the competition is on or off for me 😁


BJJ Soulmate

I think I just found my BJJ soulmate…


I’m back~

Life is so funny.

Everything changes at the blink of an eye and even if I’m half expecting the change; I still stand here, completely blown-away at everything that has happened since I posted here in January (oh gosh it’s been too long😢).

I’m not going to go into details about everything, that would require too many words for one blogpost and I don’t feel that the things that have happened deserves such a big place here. This is my happy place and I’m going to keep it that way 🙂

Anyways! I just wanted to say that even though I’ve been a really bad blogger lately, I’m going to try and make an effort to post more. I like it and I hope you guys like it as well so I don’t see why not :p

You will be seeing more of me here so make sure to check in a few times throughout the weeks from now on 🙂


I’m ready to dream


Since I’m so motivated right now to focus completely on my grappling and to not let insecurities push away my dreams, I’ve been looking at many many quotes on Instagram. The reason why I’m even able to feel like it is possible for me to even think like this is because of my big brother (Hey Maccan 😜) and the inspirational speeches that he provides with whenever we talk.

He pushed me towards watching this documentary called The Secret which I’m currently watching. I’m not even halfway through it but I’m already completely mindblown by it.

In the beginning they said something that I can’t stop thinking about now that I’ve heard it: “thoughts become things”

If I just believe and think and feel that I will get where I want and if I then line myself up in order to receive it, then nothing can stop me.

So I’m just going to give my all now. Well…once my throat isn’t sore anymore that is☺️


It’s all just so fun~


I’m one of those people at practice that is constantly giggling. It’s not like when I was new; I’m not laughing because I’m slightly uncomfortable and not really sure what to do. The reason why I’m laughing is because it’s just so unbelievably fun. It’s fun to put all of my body weight on someone’s stomach while practicing the armbar from mount as slow and tight as possible. It’s fun to try to stand up when I’m in someone’s guard and to then, after doing it a couple of times, stumbling around and falling on my face when I think that I finally got it down. I even think that it’s fun when they suddenly decide that it’s a great idea to tickle me when I’m stuck (don’t say that to my training partners tho, I tend to forget how to function like a human when I’m tickled so we don’t want to much of that now do we? 😜)

Last week I even dragged one of my closest friends with me to practice because she’s fun, bjj is fun, mix them all together and what do we have? An even happier Victoria 😄. Even though she only watched and took some pictures it was still really great to have her there, sadly she didn’t really feel like the whole grappling thing was for her… :/

But she took some really nice pictures while she was there!😜😍


Since it’s all just so extremely fun, I just had to tell you how fun it is so that we could all connect and talk about it! So it would be really great if you wrote a comment where you told me about something you think is really fun. Like when you somehow takes your instructors back when sparring and you’re trying to ignore the fact that he let you get there, you know, fun things 😁

BJJ is the cure for stress


When I’m going through a really stressful time, I sometimes feel like there’s so many things that I have to do but there is NO WAY for me to do them. My mind creates a wall that is impossible to get past. All the stress has almost like a paralyzing effect that I just can’t do anything about.

Well, it’s impossible when I’m not at practice. When I’m there, my wall breaks down. There is no way for me to think “I can’t do this” about anything while I am doing something that I used to deem impossible for less than a year ago.

Those 1-2 hours of practice is all it takes to shove through that wall and feel lighter. It’s just not possible to not be happy. Usually it’s literally all I need but sometimes I can still feel that big wall in my mind the day after and that’s when I know that I need to deal with that problem since it’s not going away by itself.

(OR I just need to go to practice everyday?! 😮 Maybe it’s a good thing that they don’t offer grappling everyday at my dojo. If they did, I would practically live there and my family already thinks I train too much… :p)

Sticky situations and emotional rollercoasters


I’m tired. Exhausted. Sleep is what should be on my mind at 11 pm on a school night, but how am I supposed to think about something so dull as sleep when I just came home from an amazing Submission Wrestling class after a weird day?

Today, I’ve experienced basically all emotions that a teenage girl can experience. I’ve been tired, happy, scared (watched Sinister 2 with a friend in school), sad and pissed at the same time, happy again, mildly annoyed and then happy again.

Since I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster all day I was scared of it affecting my practice. But, like always, after the warmup I started to process all my feelings without even knowing. Suddenly I wasn’t annoyed anymore, I wasn’t mad at one of my training partners, I was just completely ready to grapple my heart out. I didn’t care if it ended with me lying on the mats after class, unable to get up because of my sore limbs. The only thing I cared about was to do good, do my best and se how good my best really is.

After class one of my instructors asked me:

“Victoria, is something wrong? Are you mad? It went really great today, you didn’t hesitate like you use to”

I did really great, I didn’t hesitate, I tapped, but I didn’t give up.

Grappling is… Indescribable. Even though I tap I am still able to say that I haven’t given up. With grappling I’ve learned that it’s okay to not be perfect, it’s okay to not be able to get out of a sticky situation in a smooth way. But just because you tap, you acknowledge the fact that you cannot do anything more in that situation, there is no way out, it doesn’t mean that you give up. Grappling has taught me, and is still teaching me, that as long as I keep coming back, keep trying, there is nothing wrong with not being able to conquer everything at once.

(I have to admit that I was a little mad in the beginning tho, but it disappeared pretty fast.)

Maybe I’m thinking too much into it now, maybe I’m so sleep deprived that everything in this blogpost is misspelled and doesn’t make any sense. But it’s okay. Because I got myself out of some sticky situations today that I wasn’t able to do before. So I’m happy.

And really tired… 😮